I'm in POTC!
by Crazed Demon Child
Summary: I get sucked into POTC and replace.....well, if u read it, u'll find out. R
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is kind of a parody but a drama too. Confused? So'm I.

Thoughts are in /.../

Chapter 1: My Dramatic Entrance

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It was an ordinary morning on the Swann household. Birds were chirping, the sun was shining, and Miss Swann was screaming her head off. The maid rushed up to her room, wondering what it would be today. Yesterday, it had been a fly buzzing around the room, innocently minding its own business. The door burst open to reveal Miss Swann in her nightgown, standing in front of the mirror, looking petrified.

"You screamed, Miss Swann?" the maid inquired, carefully keeping her mirth hidden. Miss Swann's hair was standing out in all directions, her face was red from screaming, and she was sweating. The very picture of fear, a look that was quite comical on Miss Swann.

"Yes, ma'm, I did scream."

"Why?"

"Because I'm not 'Miss Swann.'" By now 'Miss Swann' was breathing irregularly.

"Of course you ar—" the maid stopped suddenly.

Before the maid's eyes, 'Miss Swann's' appearance changed. She turned shorter and paler, her face lost angles and became soft. Her eyes turned gray, her hair turned short and changed to a light blonde-brunette with bangs and lots of layers.

"What?"

The maid crossed herself and said a small prayer, hoping to be saved from whatever was happening.

I turned to the mirror and heaved a sigh of relief. "I'm back to normal!! Thank God!! Why couldn't my clothes have come with me too??" As I said this, my clothes appeared. Pinstripe jeans that stretched just a little, black tank top that should only be worn with a sports bra, but I was wearing a normal one, and a pair of black 3 inch high stilettos, my silver necklace with a bluish gem in the middle and corkscrew earrings, 3 rings and that's pretty much it.

"Miss!—What is your name, Miss?"

"Raquel," I said, wondering what the maid was going to say. "What's yours?"

The maid looked so confused that I had to really try hard not to laugh. "M-mary."

"Pleased to meet you Mary," I said, extending my hand for her to shake. Poor thing looked confused again. "Never mind. Now, what were you about to say, Mary?"

"Miss Raquel! You shouldn't be dressed like that!! It's indecent!!"

"Oh, and showing almost all my boobs like you are isn't??"

"This is the current fashion for maids. **Your** clothes are **much** more revealing than mine."

"How so? I'm not hanging out of my shirt, you can't see my underwear, only a little bit of my stomach shows...I fail to see a problem with this."

"You are showing your legs."

I heard slow, ponderous steps coming up the stairs and ran to shut the door. "Mary, what am I going to do?" I hissed. "They'll know that I'm not Elizabeth, especially if I'm where I think I am. Am I in Jamaica and engaged?" I asked desperately.

"You are indeed in Jamaica, but you are most certainly _not_ engaged."

"Oh, good. I'm not engaged." I'm ashamed to say this, but, I did a little happy dance. /I was in PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN!! Could life get any better than this?/ I heard a _thump_ and saw that Mary had fainted. "Dammit Mary, now is _not_ the time to be maidenly" I muttered, splashing some water on her.

She cracked open an eye. "I wanted you to be a bad dream" she said before getting up.

"Mary, I need you to get me a wig that has hair like Elizabeth's and could you help me get this damned nightgown thing on?" I asked in a rush.

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A/N: Sorry to cut it off like that, but i'm in a hurry, i'll post again this week!

Crazed Demon Child -


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Sorry I'm so late getting this posted, but I lost my notebook, then I lost my floppy and then I forgot about this story. I'm sorry!!! For going on and reading this chapter and not disowning me for being so late, you get an ice sculpture of your favorite POTC character (in life-like colors and size!!!) Stuff in italics is the medallion (or other inanimate objects or the other person in my head) talking.

Disclaimer: I do not own POTC or anything related to it. Although, in this story I DO own myself and my thoughts. Thoughts are in /…/

Chapter 2: I Meet CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow

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A light ocean breeze played over my face, reminding me of how hard it was becoming to breathe. The pirate medallion weighed heavy on its chain, almost as though it wanted to return to the ocean. /Behave/ I silently ordered the cursed gold. _But whyyy???_ The sentient gold whined. /Because if you don't, I'll have you melted down and recast as a chamber pot/ I viciously thought at it. _Eeep!_

The Commodore was prattling on about his promotion and how he needed to 'achieve' a 'marriage to a fine young woman.' /Dude, you've got to come up with better and less blatant pickup lines/ The esteemed Commodore turned his back and I leapt out over the battlements. The wig and hat blew off on the way down to the shimmering ocean. The water looked so warm and inviting…then I hit the water, blasting the air from my lungs. Water…cold…sinking very fast…evil corset….can't breathe. The world turned black.

Sunlight…bright…wet…lightweight…person holding medallion…wood under me. I cracked open an eye and saw Captain Jack Sparrow. I turned to the side and spat up saltwater. He hadn't let go of the medallion.

"Where did you get that?" he asked.

"Well…it was given to me by evil faeries who say that I'm going to do great things for them." I say dramatically. Governor Sawnn walks up and gives me his coat to cover myself.

"Hang him," Governor Swann said, sounding like a little pansy in my opinion.

"Tell me if I'm wrong, but, am I correct in saying that you are going to murder the man who rescued me?" I asked disbelievingly.

"I believe thanks are in order," Norrington said, holding his hand out for Jack to shake. Jack looks a little leery about this but shakes the Commodore's hand anyway. Norrington shoved Jack's sleeve up, revealing a brand. Norrington then proceeded to make fun of Jack's equipment and ordered Gillette to put him in irons.

I threw the coat at him as Norrington had Gillette put Jack in irons. "Even though he did save your possible future fiancée, you're still going to kill him?"

"One good deed—" Norrington started.

"Yes, yes I know. 'One good deed is not enough to redeem a man of a lifetime of wickedness.' Is that what you were going to say?" I smiled at Norrington as sweetly as I could. Norrington was gaping like a fish.

"Elizabeth, what has gotten into you today? You are not yourself." Governor Swann told me.

"Well, I could tell you, but you would lock me up so I'm not going to," I said, sticking my tongue out at him.

Jack crept up behind me and got the chain around my throat and a gun to my head. "My effects, if you please." Jack said. When they hesitated, he warningly said "Commodore!" The guards brought Jack's things and handed them to me. "Elizabeth, it is Elizabeth, isn't it?"

"No, it's Raquel, but call me 'Miss Swann' anyway," I hissed at Jack as soundlessly as I could. I felt Jack nod slightly.

"Miss Swann, then, if you would be so kind." Jack turned me around, keeping the gun at my head as I put his hat on him and his belt, entertaining thoughts of punching him for the look of enjoyment on his face.

-------And that's the end of Chapter 2!!

A/N: Don't forget to review and get your ice sculptures!!!

Crazed Demon Child—


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